Mr. World and Miss Church-Member: A Twentieth Century Allegory


CHAPTER XX.
THE RIVAL CHURCHES.

1. The two companions visit a church on the By-Path and are disgusted.

2. Then they are delighted with the services of the Church of the World whose minister they visit.

I saw the two happy companions leaving the Missionary College and proceeding on the Broad Highway. They were engaged in censuring the church for what they conceived to be its waste of time, talent, and mean in trying to convert the heathen.

This harmony of opinions was most pleasing to Mr. World. It was in sweet contrast to what he had previously experienced in his earlier acquaintance with Miss Church-Member. Her likeness to him and her love for him were becoming more noticeable as their fellowship continued, for she observed _through her faithful lenses_ that his moral purity and refinement were above par.

While they were yet criticising the church, Mr. World espied, not far ahead of them, another path leading to the right. “Behold the narrow path yonder,” he exclaimed in a somewhat surprised manner. “If it were not for a happy change in you, I would now be subjected to a score of sickly sentiments as to leaving this way and going with you to a harder one. Have I conjectured rightly?” he asked in a cheerful vein.

“It is all too true,” she confessed. “If people could but see their folly before placing it on exhibition, what a blessing it would be to all around them!”

On the By-Path stood a small church within easy reach of the Broad Highway. As they came nearer to the place of worship they heard music which attracted them to the very door of the church.

“Let us enter,” she suggested.

“I shall enjoy your pleasure,” he courteously replied. “Only see to it carefully that your glasses are properly adjusted, lest some strange glimmerings of light should bring pain or ruin to your eyes.”

I saw Miss Church-Member re-adjusting her lenses while they were entering the church and taking seats in the rear of the room.

The minister led the congregation in a fervent prayer which seemed to be altogether too Puritanical in the estimation of Mr. World and his friend. The preacher began his sermon. As he proceeded his countenance became more radiant. His clear eyes sparkled aright, and as he preached Christ and Him crucified even his raiment seemed bright and shining.

It proved to be a memorable meeting. A few who evidently intended to ridicule were pricked in their hearts and, much to the disgust of some, cried out: “What must I do to be saved?”

“Fools who came to scoff remained to pray.”

“This is affectation in the extreme,” whispered Mr. World scornfully.

“Quite enough of it, indeed,” she returned.

The whole affair seemed to her so unreal that her mind could scarcely believe that she was ever connected seriously with such a method of worship.

Still worse than all, through her warped vision and the aid of her eye-glasses well adjusted, she was led to discern a wicked motive in the mind of the minister. His utterances also appeared miserably narrow.

At the request of Miss Church-Member they left the room, congratulating themselves that they were not compelled to remain longer.

“All this reminds me of how simple and foolish I once was,” she said plaintively as they descended the front steps. “Is it possible that I was ever seriously connected with such a kind of worship? Yet ignorance is the mother of endless follies. Can we find no better place of worship than this?”

“Better by far! I can easily lead you to a church where great varieties of truthful and yet comfortable doctrines are preached, pleasing to the ear, and fascinating to the senses. No blunt fellow stands in its pulpit, but rather a cultured and highly refined gentleman of modern type who delights to keep apace with the customs of the age. If you desire, I will gladly accompany you thither. It would be sad indeed were you to be turned away from religion altogether just because your own church is so unsuited to your advanced ideas.”

The face of Miss Church-Member brightened, and she quickly expressed her desire to accompany him to such a church. Therefore Mr. World improved the first opportunity and conducted her to a large and beautiful edifice.

“Here,” he said, “is the kind of church to which I am inclined. I give very liberally to the support of the Gospel as here preached. I like the broad-mindedness and liberal spirit which is manifested within the domain of this denomination.”

“In what else does this church differ from the one to which I belong?” she asked. “In this denomination your conscience is not always pricked and you can do many innocent things without being called a sinner. You may also consult your personal feelings relative to church duties. One is not bound down by a galling yoke of ecclesiastical tyranny. Best of all, this is an up-to-date church. You can learn something about science, philosophy, and civil government. In your church one must listen to the thread-bare doctrines of the Bible, much to his personal discomfort. Your minister exercises a censorship over the consciences of his members from which I prefer to be excused. In fine, I can say that nothing is developed there but a long face and a sanctimonious soberness.”

They entered the church, and were conducted to a front pew.

The opening services were enrapturing to Miss Church-Member, and seemed unlike anything she had ever heard. The operatic rendition of the music, the ritualistic cast of the prayer and the soothing effect of the rhetorical essay which took the place of a sermon, all exercised a fascinating influence.

As the minister neared the close of his essay, he said: “Christ intended that man should enjoy liberty in this life, and that he should educate himself in the best schools of art, science, and literature. Therefore one has a right to seek, in this infinitely great world of ours, for such things as will best educate his natural and spiritual being. If the theatre can supply part of this demand, let him go, as a student, and drink into his soul through the senses of sight and hearing. If the dance can elevate him somewhat in demeanor and classical grace, let him go there as a student. If some milder types of indulgence can bring him into a more thorough knowledge of the weaknesses of human nature, let him indulge, but only as a student with sincerest motives. In general, I would say, that your conscience is a reasonably safe guide and you cannot go far wrong by obeying its dictates. Be a student all the days of your life; familiarize yourself with both the virtues and the vices of human kind that you may be better qualified to defend the right and resist the wrong.”

At the conclusion of the services I heard the minister announce that the church would hold a “razzle-dazzle” party on Friday evening, at which he hoped there would be a good attendance, as the church treasury was in sad need of replenishment. He also announced that all the prayer-meetings would be discontinued for two weeks, so as to permit a thorough practice for the coming Cantata. After the dismissal of the congregation the two continued on their journey, which was ever opening to them new avenues of delight.

Miss Church-Member expressed supreme satisfaction regarding the scholarly sermon to which she had listened, and confessed that she had never heard a preacher in her own church take such advanced positions concerning the nature of human liberty.

Mr. World felt elated because his companion had found such exquisite delight in the worship of the same church to which he adhered. He also remembered, with pleasure, that they had safely passed the little church on the By-Way, which represented the same doctrines as the church to which his now confiding friend belonged.

“Would it not be more in keeping with your advanced Christianity if you were to withdraw your membership from your present connection and join a church more fitting to your degree?” were his suave words of invitation.

“That would be a natural question to consider after I know the rules and regulations of the church to which I intend to go.”

“That only indicates your wisdom,” said Mr. World insinuatingly. “Since you desire more congenial Christian fellowship, why not give your attention to the church toward which I lean?”

“An agreeable suggestion,” she said. “Where can I get the desired information?”

He answered the question by taking her to the home of the minister, and there introducing the subject.

She was very favorably impressed by the courteous reception accorded her by so great and dignified a person.

“You come seeking knowledge of the church. I assure you, my young friend, that I will gladly answer any questions. May I take the privilege of asking you whether you have ever belonged to any church?”

She flushed with shame. “I will be true and tell you all. I had a great experience some years ago, when I was seeking Christ. In answer to my earnest petitions, I saw the most welcome beams of light that ever touched my poor soul. I knew I was converted to Christ and continued in his service ever since, although somewhat differently since I came into fellowship with Mr. World. I joined the church in which I was converted and still hold my membership there.”

“How did you get so well acquainted with the happy Mr. World?”

Miss Church-Member answered half in quaint humor and half in pathos: “I, at one time, thought he was a very wicked fellow, and in a prayerful mood I endeavored to rescue him. I knew he would not come by his own effort to my way of thinking, so I entered into an alliance with him for the purpose of quietly leading him unto the King’s Highway. I soon saw the bigotry of my former self, and through the kindness of Mr. World I have already been aided in my vision and improved in dress, and, better than all, I have enjoyed the privilege of worshiping my God in a more fitting temple, where true freedom is preached and practiced.”

“Then it is your purpose to continue being a Christian, although you have left the King’s Highway?” asked the delighted clergyman.

“As long as I live I will hold to my religion,” she said emphatically.

“Then you are sound indeed both in purpose and doctrine. Did you wish to be visibly connected with our church?”

“I wish to know first its rules and conditions of entrance.”

The minister opened his Guide Book and, duly adjusting his spectacles, read in a pleasing manner: “Anyone wishing to unite with this church must comply with the following rules and regulations:

“RULE I.—He must reach a reasonable degree of respectability, or endeavor to do so.

“RULE II.—He must not wear clothing so plain as to attract undue attention.

“RULE III.—He must not tolerate or countenance the common nuisances so prevalent in the churches of the King’s Highway.

“RULE IV.—He must ever manifest a liberal spirit so as to keep in touch with the progress of the world.

“RULE V.—He may engage in any practice that will give enlightenment on either the dark or the bright side of life. Members of this church ought to have a well-rounded education.

“RULE VI.—He must never take advantage in buying or selling, except in such cases like Jacob’s, where he can bring good to himself or profit to the church.

“RULE VII.—He must never give way to his temper, except in such cases where his personal liberty or his church is attacked.

“RULE VIII.—He is to cultivate grace and etiquette through whatever channel possible.

“RULE IX.—He is to be faithful in attending the services of his own church, except in cases of sickness or disinclination.

“RULE X.—It must be his constant aim to reach Heaven by traveling diligently on a way wide enough to hold the attention and respect of an enlightened age.

“These are our general rules. We have several thousand regulations covering every phase or avenue of life.”

“What I have just now heard are certainly not as iron-clad as the rules of my church. Nothing is said of conversion, or spirituality, or of the Holy Spirit, or of the other Persons of the Trinity,” commented Miss Church-Member.

“No, not of anything that is antiquated or, in other words, ‘out of date.’ The main church on earth must deal with practical things.”

“What do you call ‘conversion’ in your church, or do you not believe in it?”

“Beyond any doubt we believe in conversion. Just as soon as a person confesses his faith in our general rules he is converted, and is at once a good Christian. The Bible says that if one will only believe he is safe: or ‘saved already’ as the true Greek rendering has it.”

“Then you hold to the Bible strictly?”

“We are the only church that does really and truly hold to the Bible. We believe and teach it as it is preserved for the ages in the original Hebrew and Greek.”

“But I notice that many of your rules seem to be at variance with certain parts of the Bible,” she boldly declared.

“True enough, but those certain parts of the Bible do not belong to the genuine Scriptures. Whatever you find in the Bible contrary to our rules and regulations you can safely conclude is an interpolation and does not form a part of the inspired Word. Let me assure you, Miss Church-Member, that our discipline was written with great care by eminent scholars of the Hebrew and Greek; therefore how could there have been any error in it?”

Miss Church-Member was slightly confused, and evidenced by her manner that she was ready to depart.

“May I ask before you go,” continued the minister, “whether you are willing to join our church?”

“I have been thinking,” she replied, “that I could do more good in my own church, not by fighting it, but by using _my_ influence quietly in trying to get some of its members to be more like I am. I have always had a missionary spirit. In that way I might satisfy my earlier ambitions and lead some one out of the mist into a better light.”

“A very bright idea,” testified Mr. World, advancing with Miss Church-Member toward the door.

stepping from the room. “There are millions who belong to my church in spirit, but who hold visible connection with some radical church of the King’s Highway. They are doing great service in eradicating old-time methods and planting the banners of a new liberty such as we three enjoy.”


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