1. Mr. World and Miss Church-Member visit the great college and are strongly influenced in favor of Satan’s teachings concerning missionary work.
The fellowship of Mr. World and Miss Church-Member grew increasingly delightful as they journeyed forth from the Festival. In their company were a few church-members who had also enjoyed the physical pleasures of the Festival and who preferred to reach Heaven by the most convenient path.
The merry band of companions soon reached a certain Missionary Station which was controlled by pilgrims from the King’s Highway. The travelers were all very much amused at seeing tracts and other pieces of literature scattered over the Highway in front of the station.
“How much one can get for nothing!” sneeringly remarked Mr. Bigot, as he pointed to the literature strewn across the way.
“Surely there can be no harm in looking at such pieces of paper,” said Mrs. Lucre-Love as she lifted a booklet from the path and commenced a quiet perusal of it. “And what is it all about?” queried another who saw the eyes of Mrs. Lucre-Love fixed intently on the pamphlet.
“Oh, it is nothing new! Only the old monotonous story of the heathen, followed by the usual appeal for funds. Evidently it is some sharper’s scheme to rob the people of their money.”
Mr. World was near enough to hear her answer and with evident disgust he asked: “Where can one get reliable information on this subject, anyhow?”
“At one of the Missionary Colleges, of course,” answered two or three in unison. “Yes, and I know from past experience that you will soon be at one. This station and this literature is all the evidence we need,” added Mrs. Lucre-Love.
Mr. World and Miss Church-Member thence walked alone and soon beheld the great Missionary College whose higher domes kissed the lower clouds of heaven.
“Surely some great missionary enthusiast must have erected these edifices,” said Miss Church-Member as they were turning to enter the section devoted to Home Missionary Work.
The entrance ways were so crowded with students and visitors that Mr. World escorted his companion with difficulty to the plaza toward which the twenty-one halls of this section converged.
The view of this part of the College from the plaza was at once beautiful and inspiring.
Hall No. 4 was the first place they decided to enter. Over the door these words were hung:
HOME MISSION WORK FINANCIALLY CONSIDERED.
Having reached the interior, Miss Church-Member, in particular, was surprised to see the many busy thousands in the large rooms of the hall, and to note with what carefulness every item of expense was kept of all the Home Mission Work of the world.
Then they sought the main lecture-room whose large seating capacity was already well taken with a motley crowd of students and visitors.
The lecturer was a woman of shrewd appearance. Her face was void of sympathy and her voice somewhat masculine. Her address was over one-half finished when the two companions entered, They listened carefully to her words which were in part as follows:
“We are not to worship money, yet we are to guard against squandering it. The person who wastes one dollar sets a bad example to others and brings injury to himself. Woman is criticized for wastefulness in dress. I stand here to defend her, not because she is altogether innocent, but because her accusers are equally guilty in the same and in other directions. The money wasted in Home Missionary Work would feed the starving of all the world. Where does this money come from? The greater part of it comes from the purses of those who are burdened with all manner of financial obligations. What right have such people to rob others of their dues in order to support Home Mission Work? O, that the time may soon come when consistency will be manifested, and so much money no longer wasted in this sentimental manner!”
The speaker proceeded, but the interest of the two listeners was flagging; so they quietly left the room.
They next entered Hall No. 17, devoted to “_The Results of Home Missionary Work_.” But after remaining a very short time Miss Church-Member declared that she was interested more directly in Foreign Missionary Work.
In deference to her wishes he at once accompanied her to the second section of the Missionary College, which was much larger than the first. Miss Church-Member led the way into one of the large halls where Satan, through his agents, gave special instruction concerning “_The Condition of the Heathen._” They listened to four speakers from whose brief addresses they received food for thought.
The first speaker expounded the theory that “_Ignorance is Bliss_,” and declared that the heathen were happy and comfortable in their present condition.
The second lecturer argued, at greater length, that the heathen were free from all responsibility as long as they were left alone, and that if God held them accountable, then their vague worship answered for a good conscience, and therefore they would reach Heaven by a simpler path.
The third speaker declared that the heathen were now as God had made them, and therefore just as they should be. To establish this theory he used garbled arguments of predestination.
The fourth assured the audience that the heathen, in due order, would rise to loftier conceptions by the same natural processes as the civilized peoples of to-day have risen from their rude primitive conditions.
After examining some heathen relics the two companions spent some time near-by in a hall of the same section devoted to “_The Effects of the Gospel on the Heathen._”
Its teachers were very emphatic in their utterances. They affirmed that the Gospel did not benefit the heathen, except that it brought to them civilization with all its attendant responsibilities and vices.
One lecturer to whom they listened was very fiery. In a scathing manner the speaker pronounced censure on the Christian church for her ill-advised policy in Foreign Missionary Work.
Mr. World and his close friend left the second section of the College without pausing to visit the recitation rooms where Satan’s Missionary Experts were constantly teaching graded classes. In a few moments they entered the largest edifice of the Missionary College which was erected for the special purpose of teaching “_The Comparative Need of Home and Foreign Missionary Work._”
Upon entering, Miss Church-Member was surprised at the interior arrangements of the rooms and the exceptional beauty of their finish.
After a much needed rest in one of the sub-departments, they went to one of the higher floors, hoping to hear another lecture on some missionary theme.
Mr. World smiled as they entered the room and saw that a woman occupied the platform. In a jovial manner he remarked that “women must be the best missionary orators.”
The speaker was keen-eyed and shrewd, and well knew how to use sophistry in pathos and wit. She expounded to the audience the doctrine of Satan under whose service she was pledged to loyalty.
“We are all missionaries,” she commenced, “and cannot escape the responsibility which is imposed upon us. Our duty is imperative. We stand at the open door of opportunity and enter so slowly into the fields of work all around us. When one sees rank bigotry and narrow-mindedness on every hand, he feels like blushing that he ever sent money to convert the heathen in far-away lands. The heathen at our own doors are more blood-thirsty than the cannibals of distant climes. I appeal to you all, noble women especially, to rid your minds of the fallacy of foreign work and do the foreign work at home, even inside your own doors. (Applause, principally among the men, in which Mr. World heartily joined.) I must confess that, at one time, I was almost overcome by this craze of evangelizing the world. My delusion went so far that I could see visions of China, Africa, or the remote islands of the sea, and even imagine that I heard voices calling me thither. One night I dreamed a dream, the kindest of them all. I saw a woman standing on the shore of a river, her children drowning at her side. But she, unmindful of her own blood, was hastening to launch a boat into the stream that she might rescue a sinking dog on the farther shore. “Ungrateful wretch,” I cried aloud on my bed so that I was awakened by my own voice. I was so moved by the dream that I could sleep no more that night, but sought for some one to make known unto me the interpretation thereof. I soon learned, to my personal shame, that I was that woman. I then and there vowed that I would no more be guilty of so great a crime. (Great applause, with cries of “noble decision!” “common sense!”) From that hour I assure you that I have been trying to evangelize the world—not the one across the river, (applause) but the one on this side. (Applause.)
“I have been working at my own home and find a task almost too great for me to do. If I should ever see the day when I get through with my own family, including my husband, (great applause among the women) I can then commence busying myself with my neighbors’ affairs and tell them also how to become perfect. (Laughter and applause.)
“God never made a greater world than when he instituted the home. The woman who becomes inspired with international evangelization would do well if she would learn how to season victuals and cook them aright (shouting and applause among the men) and to give proper care to her home and her children. This is home missionary work.” (Continued applause.) The speaker was about to be seated, but the applause was rising, so she stepped forward again. “If this kind of missionary work be adopted, then the church will no longer be drained by repeated collections for missionary work, and that money will flow into better channels and prove an impetus to trade.” She stepped quickly from the stage while the final burst of applause rang loud and prolonged.
“That was the greatest and most sensible missionary speech to which I have ever listened in my life,” chuckled Mr. World as he was moving toward the door with his companion.
I learned from Blackana that this Missionary College of the Devil has wrought great mischief in the missionary operations of the church, ad that Satan glories in the fact that he has succeeded in sending these nefarious doctrines to the hearts of so many church-members and thereby kept a large part of the world in spiritual darkness.
Then I took a passing glance at the King’s Highway and saw a shining looking for the coming of his Redeemer. From his lips this prayer arose, like sweet incense to Heaven: “O God, hasten the day when thy church will unite and go forth into all the world to preach the Gospel, instead of so large a part of it giving ear to the teaching of Satan’s missionary schools, thereby delaying the coming of thy dear Son!”
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