Mr. World and Miss Church-Member: A Twentieth Century Allegory


CHAPTER XI.
SCHOOLS OF LITERATURE. FIRST AND SECOND DIVISIONS.

1. The schools described.

2. The literature of the world tainted by the teachers of darkness.

3. Satan’s rules for the winning author.

The College of Literature, in three grand divisions, occupied one of the most attractive sites of all the territory covered by the University of the World. It was owned and controlled by Satan, and was visited by the children of the human family from every portion of the earth.

Mr. World and Miss Church-Member came thither in a conveyance. They stood before the massive structure which comprised the first division of the College. Around them were the living fountains which, like pearls in billows of green, played upon the expansive lawn. While they strolled along the pebbled paths they were lost in admiration as they continued looking upon the stupendous building which towered far into the air and extended as far as the eye could reach. In breathless silence they noted first its size, then its durability, and marveled most at the splendid symmetry of the parts, each blending into a perfect whole.

“Heaven must have inspired so great and beautiful a design,” was the first comment of Miss Church-Member. “Those porticos hanging in mid-air, those domes and pillars, dreamlike, stand before me more like a hundred fabled castles than aught real to sight or touch.”

“Indeed the world affords rich and delightful privileges to all who will but walk in her ways,” said Mr. World just as they arrived at one of the large entrances, over which these words were written:

DEPOSITORY OF THE WORLD’S LITERATURE, WELCOME TO ALL!

As Miss Church-Member viewed the weighty pillars on each side of the entrance, she exclaimed: “This is indeed a rare opportunity. Methinks I could revel, with delight, forever in fields of literature. Come, Mr. World, let us at once pass through the massive doors and learn what we can from so great a source.”

Although the literary tastes of Mr. World were not strongly developed, yet he offered no objections to her request. He seemed willing to suffer any inconvenience for her sake so long as she traveled on the Broad Highway. As they were entering the building I saw that many from the church and the world were also pushing their way into the interior that they might get a glimpse of the inner halls, and visit the ones that were best suited to their fancies.

Miss Church-Member was surprised when she saw the unique arrangement of the interior. There were twenty-eight magnificent halls so constructed that they converged toward a large central office into which I saw Mr. World and his companion enter, profoundly impressed with the smallness of the single human mind.

After answering the stipulated questions, they registered under the rules and regulations and were given certificates entitling them to all the privileges which this first division of the College accorded to visitors.

In the commodious office they learned that each of the twenty-eight halls contained a distinctive line of literature, systematically arranged in numerous sub-departments; and that competent librarians superintended the literature of each hall and of each department.

Miss Church-Member ascertained also that each hall was centrally supplied with a lecture room having an immense seating capacity, and that learned professors, each in their turn, occupied the platform and constantly gave lectures which were intended to describe and illustrate the class of literature represented in their faculties.

After considerable time spent in the office, they passed through the long and wide circular lobby, reading the beautifully emblazoned inscriptions over each entrance door, but they could not immediately decide into which hall they would first enter.

At length after a pleasant loitering, Mr. World led his charming comrade into the fourth hall, over whose entrance, in plain words, this inscription appeared:

ALL THAT WAS EVER WRITTEN CONCERNING JESUS CHRIST.

They first chose to enter a sub-department where ancient scrolls, parchments, and papyri could be seen in tiresome variety. Miss Church-Member scanned most carefully some of the manuscripts which had never been published.

In other sections of the hall there were books and pamphlets of all descriptions, each one referring to Jesus Christ in a favorable or an unfavorable manner.

During these visitations the attendants extended unusual courtesies to Mr. World and his faithful friend, and also to the endless procession of visitors and students who were constantly moving through these departments. Finally the two companions proceeded to the lecture room of this hall and listened to an address entitled: “The Divinity of Christ,” by one of Satan’s ablest advocates a professor with ecclesiastical titles. His gestures were unique and his style altogether persuasive.

I heard his words with great displeasure, for they taught the philosophy of Hell, with Heaven on the face of it.

“I must congratulate myself,” commenced he, “on having the privilege of addressing so intelligent a class of people. I only hope that I may be helpful to you in your quest of knowledge.

“The central theme of this hall is ‘Jesus Christ’ and I shall now proceed to speak of his so-called ‘Divinity.’ I cannot question that there is a supreme hand in the works of nature, but after careful research I am compelled to doubt the genuineness of the Divinity which is ascribed to Christ. True enough, his childhood was blameless, and he possessed exceptional wisdom so that many of his countrymen believed him to be more than human. In this manner the idea of his Divinity originated, and this fallacy grew as the man grew.

“He was shrewd, and possessed a great amount of magnetic force which was trained and used with remarkable skill, all of which made him pose as a god before a credulous and unsuspecting public. The ignorance and gross superstition of that age made a fit soil for the spread of Christ’s doctrine and the idea that he was Divine.

“When Jesus discerned that his claims were more readily accepted by the poorer and more ignorant class of people, he lauded them in his teachings, while the learned and more respectable classes were subjected to his abuse and sarcasm.

“By his unusual tactics overcame the prejudices of his enemies and, for a long time, escaped punishment. But finally he was arrested and convicted and, notwithstanding his so-called Divine power, he came to an inglorious end by death on a cross. His friends, unable to prevent his cursed death, quickly formed a plot to perpetuate his doctrines. They carried out their plot by stealthily robbing Christ’s body from the grave and secretly burying it elsewhere, and then spreading the news that he, of his own power, came forth from the grave. To complete the fraud they also claimed, a little later, that he had ascended into Heaven. What was the purpose of all this? It was to prove that Christ was Divine and thereby to make his teachings authoritative and eternal.

“I wish to inform you that the manuscripts and parchments, in sub- department number six of this hall, all point to the fact that Jesus Christ was born like any other babe and that his father was Joseph. Dishonest, indeed, is any one who would rob Joseph of this honor. ‘Honor to whom honor is due.’ While Christ was a great man, he never had in him the elements of Divinity. Let millions in the world glory in their imaginary theology, yet that is no reason why scholarly research should be put to naught, or why it should be sacrificed. We are living in the morning twilight of a better day when God shall be worshiped and Jesus Christ ignored when all thought of Divinity will center at the true focus and a man will no longer receive the glory that belongs to God.”

The vigorous applause which followed the remarks of this speaker fell with grating horror on my ears. “Can it be possible,” thought I, “that any one can publicly teach such doctrines of Hell, and be thus applauded? Whither are so many of the church and the world drifting that they should give ear to such theology as it comes from the mouth of the Devil?”

Miss Church-Member and her escort left the lecture room and visited a few more of the sub-departments where they saw many objects of literary interest and, with the aid of experts, examined some of the old manuscripts dating back to the time of Christ. They left the hall and were next attracted by the words over the entrance of Hall No. 9 appearing thus:

LITERATURE ON LIFE.

1. Vegetable Life. 2. Animal Life. 3. Mental Life. 4. Spiritual Life.

At the suggestion of Miss Church-Member they entered, and could readily see that the attendants and lecturers of this hall were also of a very high class. One of the speakers elaborated on the theory that life is the result of spontaneous generation.

Another, in speaking on spiritual life, made special reference to the fact that Jesus Christ claimed to be the “Life,” and then proceeded to refute this claim by a series of arguments which were altogether too philosophical to be understood by the two companions.

Finding no pleasure in this metaphysical atmosphere, Mr. World conducted his companion to the adjoining hall devoted to the “Literature of Fiction.”

Here they spent a season delightfully, perusing works of fiction and listening to addresses, all of which advocated the views of Satan.

I heard one of the lecturers, in a discussion on “The License of Pure Fiction” make these dangerous remarks: “The highest fiction of the world is that in which human life is pictured in ideal colors, even though it be done at the expense of truth.

“There can be no harm if the reader should gain a false view of life. The very charm of such a view will act as a stimulus to a wider experience and to a higher culture.

“In our real life, as we come in daily contact with the world, we see and suffer enough. Therefore it cannot be harmful if fiction carries us into strange worlds of morality or into any mythical realm. I give you but the result of long and careful study, and I advise you to read the wildest and most exciting forms of fiction, and thereby get the healthful and exhilarating effect that comes from total mental absorption. All this will tend to the development of your nature so that you will, by contrast, better appreciate the substantial things of life.”

I saw that Mr. World and Miss Church-Member next visited the hall devoted to the “Literature of the Passions.” After they had entered, Miss Church-Member, at first, felt embarrassed, and her sense of modesty would not have allowed her to remain had it not been that her conscience was eased by these conditions:

1. She saw that among the moving thousands that were present in the massive hall many belonged to the higher classes of society.

2. She was also informed that not a few of the throng held good membership in various branches of the visible church.

3. She readily observed that Mr. World was so much delighted that she offered no protest, and that he seemed to take an interest in the endless program as carried out in one department or another.

In this poisonous hall Miss Church-Member stultified herself more than in any other place which she had ever before visited, and thereby added one more decisive step in her downward course. She tarried longest in one of the sub-departments where Satan’s expert doctors of literature delivered their special lectures on the writings of each author as far as they related directly or indirectly to the passions.

These avowed experts carried on their fiendish work under the cover of a pleasing dignity. After their crafty manner they quoted or read the fine sentences of an author, preferably those of a sensual cast, and then placed a premium on the passionate by describing the fine style of the author and showing how true to nature was the language he employed.

Thus I saw that the leaders of this department were using the choicest and the foulest productions of the pen, gathered from the authors of all lands, languages and ages, and Miss Church-Member, by degrees almost imperceptible, voluntarily sacrificed her finer moral taste on a popular and polluted altar.

To a pure heart there was an unclean cast and a withering effect prevalent throughout all the departments of this hall, and my heart burned as I continued observing how the agents of Satan plied their subtle influences so as to popularize this cosmopolitan resort. So effectually has Satan entrenched his views that some of the strong defenders of this hall of literature are connected with the church, and types of this same teaching have found their way into some of the Christian schools of the world.

After this protracted visit Mr. World and Miss Church-Member left this hall and continued their studies in hall after hall, until more than one half of the twenty-eight halls were visited. Their next objective point was the second grand division of this College devoted to “_The Elements of Success in Authorship._”

My heart trembled at what my eyes saw. The great army of writers who studied in this department came from all countries of the earth. “Can it be true,” thought I, “that so large a portion of our authors get at least a part of their training in the schools of the Devil?”

“O Blackana!” I sighed, “how long have these things been?”

“Since the beginning of literature,” was his cold and brief reply.

“Always so large a percentage of the world’s authors found at that school?”

“It has never been on the decrease,” he continued. “So many have visited these halls that it has been a veritable meeting-place of almost all authors of all lands and all ages at some stage in their careers. Some who came tarried long; others, not satisfied, foolishly drifted to the schools of the King’s Highway which ever carry on their work in opposition to the University of the World.”

Here also, in this second grand division, the subtlest kind of teaching was prevalent. In one sub-division Mr. World and Miss Church-Member read these general laws written in bold letters where all who desired could read:

RULES FOR THE WINNING AUTHOR.

1. Give quality rather than quantity.

2. If you will not compose your best, compose nothing. The world is heavily overstocked with inferior compositions.

3. Write nothing that will cause regret on your death-bed.

4. Do not follow in the rut. Go by some path untraveled before, over land or sea, and tell the world of your new discoveries.

5. To be acceptable, in the highest sense, you must teach differently than others, even though it be at the expense of what is commonly called “truth.” Novelty is the winning feature.

6. In any one composition strive first to arouse the curiosity of your intended readers; then keep the curiosity suspended and finally give it satisfaction in accordance with the aim in view.

7. You may be influenced by religion, but not by religious nonsense. If your writings win, you are a teacher of millions. So, in order to reach the public ear, you may cater to the tastes and wishes of the majority.

8. If you see some vile conditions of humanity, send out, in your writings, vials of vileness. “Like cures like.” If any part of the church cries, “poison, poison!” you may justify yourself by the fact that the so-called “poison” in your productions will only neutralize the poison so prevalent in society, on the same principle that poison is administered to a sickly body in order to effect a cure.

9. You are always safest when you are true to nature, even though some sentimental people may charge you with being vulgar.

10. Words of profanity are not allowable if they are the mere expression of the author, but any foul or profane expression may be quoted. An author should not be charged with the impropriety of his characters who are merely taken from actual life.

The above ten commandments, if properly interpreted and obeyed, will surely lead to literary success.

second grand division, and at many intervals they could be seen spending a quiet season on the lawns which surrounded the entire structure.

Their tastes were now more in harmony than ever, and their friendship was fast reaching that intimacy where each one was searching for pearls in the deep ocean of the other’s love.


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