George Lancaster (Born 1846)
Good day to you, Misther skealmaisther,
the evenin' is desperate fine,
I thowt I wad gie ye a call aboot
that young sonnie o' mine.
I couldn't persuade him to come,
sea I left him behont(1) me at yam,(2)
Bud somehoo it's waintly(3) possess'd me
to mak a skealmaisther o' Sam.
He's a kind of a slack-back, ye knaw,
I niver could get him to work,
He scarcelins wad addle(4) his saut
wiv a ploo, or a shovel, or fork.
I've tried him agean an' agean,
bud I finnd that he's nea use at yam,
Sea me an' my missus agreed
to mak a skealmaisther o' Sam.
If I sends him to wark, why, he'll chunther(5)
an' gie me the a awfullest leaks,
He'd a deal rayther lig upo' d' sofy
wi' novels an' them soort o' beaks.
Sea I thowt a skealmaisther wad suit him,
a lowse soort o' job, do ye see,
Just to keep a few bairns oot o' mischief,
as easy as easy can be.
Of coorse you've to larn 'em to coont,
an' to figure a bit, an' to read,
An' to sharpen 'em up if they're numskulls,
wiv a lalldabber(6) ower their heead,
Bud it's as easy as easy, ye knaw,
an' I think it wad just suit oor Sam,
An' my missus, she's just o' my mind,
for she says that he's nea use at yam.
It was nobbut this mornin' I sent him
to gan an' to harrow some land,
He was boamin'(7) asleep upo' d' fauf,(8)
wiva rubbishly beak iv his hand;
I gav him a bunch(9) wi' my feat,
an' rattled him yarmin'(10) off yam.
Sea I think that I'll send him to you,
you mun mak a skealmaisther o' Sam.
He's a stiff an' a runty(1) young fellow,
I think that' he'll grow up a whopper,
He'd wallop the best lad you've got,
an' I think he wad wallop him proper;
Bud still he's a slack-back, ye knaw,
an' seein' he's nea use at yam,
I think I shall send him to you,
you mun mak a skealmaisther o' Sam.
1. Behind. 2. Home. 3 Strangely. 4.Earn.
5. Grumble. 6. Cuff. 7. Trailing along.
8. Fallow. 9. Kick. 10. Whining.
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