Locrine

SCENE II.

Enter Strumbo, Dorothy, Trompart, cobbling shoes and singing. To them enter Captain.

TROMPART.
We Cobblers lead a merry life:

ALL.
Dan, dan, dan, dan:

STRUMBO.
Void of all ennui and strife:

ALL.
Dan diddle dan.

DOROTHY.
Our ease is great, our labour small:

ALL.
Dan, dan, dan, dan.

STRUMBO.
And yet our gains be much withall:

ALL.
Dan diddle dan.

DOROTHY.
With this art so fine and fair:

ALL.
Dan, dan, dan, dan.

TROMPART.
No occupation may compare:

ALL.
Dan diddle dan.

DOROTHY.
For merry pastime and joyful glee:

ALL.
Dan, dan, dan, dan.

STRUMBO.
Most happy men we Cobblers be:

ALL.
Dan diddle dan.

TROMPART.
The can stands full of nappy ale:

ALL.
Dan, dan, dan, dan.

STRUMBO.
In our shop still withouten fail:

ALL.
Dan diddle dan.

DOROTHY.
This is our meat, this is our food:

ALL.
Dan, dan, dan, dan.

TROMPART.
This brings us to a merry mood:

ALL.
Dan diddle dan.

STRUMBO.
This makes us work for company:

ALL.
Dan, dan, dan, dan.

DOROTHY.
To pull the tankards cheerfully:

ALL.
Dan diddle dan.

TROMPART.
Drink to thy husband, Dorothy,

ALL.
Dan, dan, dan, dan.

DOROTHY.
Why, then, my Strumbo, there’s to thee:

ALL.
Dan diddle dan.

STRUMBO.
Drink thou the rest, Trompart, amain:

ALL.
Dan, dan, dan, dan.

DOROTHY.
When that is gone, we’ll fill’t again:

ALL.
Dan diddle dan.

CAPTAIN.
The poorest state is farthest from annoy.
How merrily he sitteth on his stool!
But when he sees that needs he must be pressed,
He’ll turn his note and sing another tune.
Ho, by your leave, master Cobbler.

STRUMBO.
You are welcome, gentleman. What will you? any old shoes or buskins? or will you have your shoes clouted? I will do them as well as any Cobbler in Cathnes whatsoever.

CAPTAIN.
[Showing him press money.]
O master Cobbler, you are far deceived in me, for don you see this? I come not to buy any shoes, but to buy yourself; come, sir, you must be a soldier in the king’s cause.

STRUMBO.
Why, but hear you, sir; has your king any commission to take any man against his will. I promise you, I can scant believe it; or did he give you commission?

CAPTAIN.
O sir, ye need not care for that; I need no commission.
Hold, here: I command you, in the name of our king
Albanact, to appear tomorrow in the town-house of
Cathnes.

STRUMBO.
King Nactaball! I cry God mercy! what have we to do with him, or he with us? But you, sir master capontail, draw your pasteboard, or else I promise you, I’ll give you a canuasado with a bastinado over your shoulders, and teach you to come hither with your implements.

CAPTAIN.
I pray thee, good fellow, be content; I do the king’s command.

STRUMBO.
Put me out of your book, then.

CAPTAIN.
I may not.

STRUMBO.
[Snatching up the staff.]
No! Well, come, sir, will your stomach serve you? by gog’s blue hood and halidom, I will have a bout with you.

Fight both. Enter Thrasimachus.

THRASIMACHUS.
How now, what noise, what sudden clamor’s this?
How now, my captain and the cobbler so hard at it?
Sirs, what is your quarrel?

CAPTAIN.
Nothing, sir, but that he will not take press money.

THRASIMACHUS.
Here, good fellow; take it at my command,
Unless you mean to be stretched.

STRUMBO.
Truly, master gentleman, I lack no money; if you please, I will resign it to one of these poor fellows.

THRASIMACHUS.
No such matter,
Look you be at the common house tomorrow.

[Exeunt Thrasimachus and the captain.]

STRUMBO.
O, wife, I have spun a fair thread! If I had been quiet, I had not been pressed, and therefore well may I wayment. But come, sirrah, shut up, for we must to the wars.

[Exeunt.]