Departmental Ditties and Barrack Room Ballads






THE BALLAD OF THE CLAMPHERDOWN

  It was our war-ship Clampherdown
   Would sweep the Channel clean,
  Wherefore she kept her hatches close
  When the merry Channel chops arose,
   To save the bleached marine.

  She had one bow-gun of a hundred ton,
   And a great stern-gun beside;
  They dipped their noses deep in the sea,
  They racked their stays and stanchions free
   In the wash of the wind-whipped tide.

  It was our war-ship Clampherdown,
   Fell in with a cruiser light
  That carried the dainty Hotchkiss gun
  And a pair o' heels wherewith to run
   From the grip of a close-fought fight.

  She opened fire at seven miles—
   As ye shoot at a bobbing cork—
  And once she fired and twice she fired,
  Till the bow-gun drooped like a lily tired
   That lolls upon the stalk.

  “Captain, the bow-gun melts apace,
   The deck-beams break below,
  'Twere well to rest for an hour or twain,
  And patch the shattered plates again.”
    And he answered, “Make it so.”

  She opened fire within the mile—
   As ye shoot at the flying duck—
  And the great stern-gun shot fair and true,
  With the heave of the ship, to the stainless blue,
   And the great stern-turret stuck.

  “Captain, the turret fills with steam,
   The feed-pipes burst below—
  You can hear the hiss of the helpless ram,
  You can hear the twisted runners jam.”
    And he answered, “Turn and go!”

  It was our war-ship Clampherdown,
   And grimly did she roll;
  Swung round to take the cruiser's fire
  As the White Whale faces the Thresher's ire
   When they war by the frozen Pole.

  “Captain, the shells are falling fast,
   And faster still fall we;
  And it is not meet for English stock
  To bide in the heart of an eight-day clock
   The death they cannot see.”

  “Lie down, lie down, my bold A.B.,
   We drift upon her beam;
  We dare not ram, for she can run;
  And dare ye fire another gun,
   And die in the peeling steam?”

  It was our war-ship Clampherdown
   That carried an armour-belt;
  But fifty feet at stern and bow
  Lay bare as the paunch of the purser's sow,
   To the hail of the Nordenfeldt.

  “Captain, they hack us through and through;
   The chilled steel bolts are swift!
  We have emptied the bunkers in open sea,
  Their shrapnel bursts where our coal should be.”
    And he answered, “Let her drift.”

  It was our war-ship Clampherdown,
   Swung round upon the tide,
  Her two dumb guns glared south and north,
  And the blood and the bubbling steam ran forth,
   And she ground the cruiser's side.

  “Captain, they cry, the fight is done,
   They bid you send your sword.”
   And he answered, “Grapple her stern and bow.
  They have asked for the steel.  They shall have it now;
   Out cutlasses and board!”

  It was our war-ship Clampherdown
   Spewed up four hundred men;
  And the scalded stokers yelped delight,
  As they rolled in the waist and heard the fight
   Stamp o'er their steel-walled pen.

  They cleared the cruiser end to end,
   From conning-tower to hold.
  They fought as they fought in Nelson's fleet;
  They were stripped to the waist, they were bare to the feet,
   As it was in the days of old.

  It was the sinking Clampherdown
   Heaved up her battered side—
  And carried a million pounds in steel,
  To the cod and the corpse-fed conger-eel,
   And the scour of the Channel tide.

  It was the crew of the Clampherdown
   Stood out to sweep the sea,
  On a cruiser won from an ancient foe,
  As it was in the days of long ago,
   And as it still shall be.

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