(As she said this OEnothea brought) out a leathern dildo which, when she had smeared it with oil, ground pepper, and pounded nettle seed, she commenced to force, little by little, up my anus. The merciless old virago then anointed the insides of my thighs with the same decoction; finally mixing nasturtium juice with elixir of southern wood, she gave my genitals a bath and, picking up a bunch of green nettles, she commenced to strike me gently all over my belly below the navel. {The nettles stung me horribly and I suddenly took to my heels, with the old hags in full pursuit.} Although they were befuddled with wine and lust they followed the right road and chased me through several wards, screaming "Stop thief." I made good my escape, however, although every toe was bleeding as the result of my headlong flight. (I got home as quickly as I could and, worn out with fatigue, I sought my couch, but I could not snatch a wink of sleep for the evil adventures which had befallen me kept running through my brain and, brooding upon them, I came to the conclusion that no one could be so abjectly unfortunate. "Has Fortune, always inimical to me, stood in need of the pangs of love, that she might torture me more cruelly still," I cried out; "unhappy wretch that I am! Fortune and Love have joined forces to bring about my ruin. Cruel Eros himself had never dealt leniently with me, loved or lover I am put to the torture! Take the case of Chrysis: she loves me desperately, never leaves off teasing me, she who despised me as a servant, because, when she was acting as her mistress's go-between, I was dressed in the garments of a slave: she, I say) that same Chrysis, who looked with contempt upon your former lowly lot, is now bent upon following it up even at the peril of her life; (she swore that she would never leave my side on the day when she told me of the violence of her passion: but Circe owns me, heart and soul, all others I despise. Who could be lovelier than she?) What loveliness had Ariadne or Leda to compare with hers? What had Helen to compare with her, what has Venus? If Paris himself had seen her with her dancing eyes, when he acted as umpire for the quarreling goddesses, he would have given up Helen and the goddesses for her! If I could only steal a kiss, if only I might put my arms around that divine, that heavenly bosom, perhaps the virility would come back to this body and the parts, flaccid from witchcraft would, I believe, come into their own. Contempt cannot tire me out: what if I was flogged; I will forget it! What if I was thrown out! I will treat it as a joke! Only let me be restored to her good graces!
At rest on my pallet, night's silence had scarce settled down
To soothe me, and eyes heavy-laden with slumber to lull
When torturing Amor laid hold of me, seizing my hair
And dragging me, wounding me, ordered a vigil till dawn.
'Oh heart of stone, how canst thou lie here alone?' said the God,
'Thou joy of a thousand sweet mistresses, how, oh my slave?'
In disarrayed nightrobe I leap to bare feet and essay
To follow all paths; but a road can discover by none.
One moment I hasten; the next it is torture to move,
It irks me again to turn back, shame forbids me to halt
And stand in the midst of the road. Lo! the voices of men,
The roar of the streets, and the songs of the birds, and the bark
Of vigilant watch-dogs are hushed! Alone, I of all
Society dread both my slumber and couch, and obey
Great Lord of the Passions, thy mandate which on me was laid."
(Such thoughts as these, of lovely Circe's charms so wrought upon my mind that) I disordered my bed by embracing the image, as it were, of my mistress, (but my efforts were all wasted.) This obstinate (affliction finally wore out my patience, and I cursed the hostile deity by whom I was bewitched. I soon recovered my composure, however, and, deriving some consolation from thinking of the heroes of old, who had been persecuted by the anger of the gods, I broke out in these lines:)
Hostile gods and implacable rate not me alone pursue;
Herakles once suffered the weight of heaven's displeasure too
Driven from the Inachian coast: Laomedon of old
Sated two of the heavenly host: in Pelias, behold
Juno's power to avenge an affront; and Telephus took arms
Knowing not he must bear the brunt; Ulysses feared the storms
Angry Neptune decreed as his due. Now, me to overwhelm
Outraged Priapus ever pursues on land and Nereus' realm.
(Tortured by these cares I spent the whole night in anxiety, and at dawn,
Giton, who had found out that I had slept at home, entered the room and
bitterly accused me of leading a licentious life; he said that the whole
household was greatly concerned at what I had been doing, that I was so
rarely present to attend to my duties, and that the intrigue in which I
was engaged would very likely bring about my ruin. I gathered from this
that he had been well informed as to my affairs, and that someone had
been to the house inquiring for me. Thereupon,) I began to ply Giton
with questions as to whether anyone had made inquiry for me; "Not today,"
he replied, "but yesterday a woman came in at the door, not bad looking,
either, and after talking to me for quite a while, and wearing me out
with her far-fetched conversation, finally ended by saying that you
deserved punishment, and that you would receive the scourging of a slave
if the injured party pressed his complaint." (This news afflicted me so
bitterly that I levelled fresh recriminations against Fortune, and) I had
not yet finished grumbling when Chrysis came in and, throwing herself
upon me, embraced me passionately. "I have you," she cried, "just as I
hoped I would; you are my heart's desire, my joy, you can never put out
this flame of mine unless you quench it in my blood!" (I was greatly
embarrassed by this wantonness of Chrysis and had recourse to flattery
in order that I might rid myself of her, as I feared that her passionate
outcries would reach the ears of Eumolpus who, in the arrogance of
success, had put on the manner of the master. So on this account, I did
everything I could think of to calm Chrysis. I feigned love, whispered
compliments, in short, so skillfully did I dissimulate that she believed
I was Love's own captive. I showed her what pressing peril overhung us
should she be caught in that room with me, as Eumolpus was only too ready
to punish the slightest offense. On hearing this, she left me hurriedly,
and all the more quickly, as she caught sight of Giton, who had only left
me a little before she had come in, on his way to my room. She was
scarcely gone when) one of the newly engaged servants rushed in and
informed me that the master was furiously angry with me because of my two
days' absence from duty; I would do well, therefore, to prepare some
plausible excuse, as it was not likely that his angry passion would be
placated until someone had been flogged. (Seeing that I was so vexed and
disheartened, Giton said not a word about the woman, contenting himself
with speaking of Eumolpus, and advising me that it would be better to
joke with him than to treat the matter seriously. I followed this lead
and appeared before the old fellow, with so merry a countenance that,
instead of showing severity, he received me with good humor and rallied
me upon the success of my love affairs, praising the elegance of my
figure which made me such a favorite with the ladies. "I know very
well," he went on, "that a lovely woman is dying for love of you,
Encolpius, and this may come in handy for us, so play your part and I'll
play mine, too!")
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