The Verse-Book of a Homely Woman

A Woman in Hospital

     I know it all . . . I know.
     For I am God. I am Jehovah, He
     Who made you what you are; and I can
          see
     The tears that wet your pillow night by
          night,
     When nurse has lowered that too-brilliant
          light;
     When the talk ceases, and the ward grows
          still,
     And you have doffed your will:
     I know the anguish and the helplessness.
     I know the fears that toss you to and fro.
     And how you wrestle, weariful,
     With hosts of little strings that pull
     About your heart, and tear it so.
     I know.

     Lord, do You know
     I had no time to put clean curtains up;
     No time to finish darning all the socks;
     Nor sew clean frilling in the children's
          frocks?
     And do You know about my Baby's cold?
     And how things are with my sweet three-
          year-old?
     Will Jane remember right
     Their cough mixture at night?
     And will she ever think
     To brush the kitchen flues, or scrub the
          sink?

     And then, there's John! Poor tired
          lonely John!
     No one will run to put his slippers on.
     And not a soul but me
     Knows just exactly how he likes his tea.
     It rends my heart to think I cannot go
     And minister to him. . . .

     I know. I know.

     Then, there are other things,
     Dear Lord . . . more little strings
     That pull my heart. Now Baby feels her
          feet
     She loves to run outside into the street
     And Jane's hands are so full, she'll never
          see. . . .
     And I'm quite sure the clean clothes won't
          be aired—
     At least, not properly.
     And, oh, I can't, I really can't be spared—
     My little house calls so!

     I know.
     And I am waiting here to help and bless.
     Lay down your head. Lay down your hope-
          lessness
     And let Me speak.
     You are so weary, child, you are so weak.
     But let us reason out
     The darkness and the doubt;
     This torturing fear that tosses you about.

     I hold the universe. I count the stars.
     And out of shortened lives I build the
     ages. . . .

     But, Lord, while such high things Thy
          thought engages,
     I fear—forgive me—lest
     Amid those limitless eternal spaces
     Thou shouldest, in the high and heavenly
          places,
     Pass over my affairs as things of nought.
     There are so many houses just like mine.
     And I so earth-bound, and Thyself Divine.
     It seems impossible that Thou shouldst
          care
     Just what my babies wear;
     And what John gets to eat; . . . and
          can it be
     A circumstance of great concern to Thee
     Whether I live or die?

     Have you forgotten then, My child, that I,
     The Infinite, the Limitless, laid down
     The method of existence that I knew,
     And took on Me a nature just like you?
     I laboured day by day
     In the same dogged way
     That you have tackled household tasks.
          And then,
     Remember, child, remember once again
     Your own beloveds . . . did you really
          think—
     (Those days you toiled to get their meat
          and drink,
     And made their clothes, and tried to under-
          stand
     Their little ailments)—did you think your
          hand,
     Your feeble hand, was keeping them from ill?
     I gave them life, and life is more than meat;
     Those little limbs, so comely and so sweet.
     You can make raiment for them, and are glad,
     But can you add
     One cubit to their stature? Yet they grow!
     Oh, child, hands off! Hands off! And
          leave them so.
     I guarded hitherto, I guard them still.

     I have let go at last. I have let go.
     And, oh, the rest it is, dear God, to know
     My dear ones are so safe, for Thou wilt
          keep.
     Hands off, at last! Now, I can go to
          sleep.